quarta-feira, 19 de setembro de 2012

Who am I?

A friend recently told me that to know what you want you have to know who you are.

She didn't know that it's been a question that I have been trying to answer for a very long time.
As a person of mixed heritage it's always been a question that I have tried to answer.
And the most enlightened answer that I have found is that we are who we want to be.

I am portugues not because I have a document that says so but because I choose to be portugues.
People who don't chose what they are take it for granted. I have never once taken the fact that I am portugues for granted.
When I was small my mother would get me to eat my açorda or bacalhão by claiming that she would take away my portugues nationality. I don't know if she could do that but what I do know is that I ate my meals without complaining.
(And I respect the part of me that is canadian, and I recognize the part that is italian.)

I am made up of a bunch of little parts just like everyone else.
I am made up of a bunch of different parts but I am not defined by the individual parts.

It's not so much about knowing what you want but allowing yourself to want it or feeling that it is okay to want it.
I can want chocolate but think that it's wrong to want it since I have a cavity or I'm fasting.

Just because you know who you are doesn't mean you know what you want.
and knowing what you want doesn't mean that you know yourself.

And just because we know who we are does not mean others know as well.
People hide parts of themselves or just shut up when no one is listening.

Sometimes when people are listening I say stupid things, and sometimes when I have something smart to say no one is listening so I say nothing and smile.
Just because we know ourselves does not mean others give us space to be ourselves.
As humans we are forced to adapt.
We adapt our selves sometimes until we explode.

Perhaps it's not about who we are, who I am, but who we are allowed to be.

I am me.

I know who I am and I know that I am changing everyday.

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