quinta-feira, 17 de outubro de 2013



Early morning
Still a starry night
Stars still shinning
Ever so bright
On the horizon
Nothing but faded yellow green light
Early mornings
Late goodnights
Songs of worry
Songs of might
Early mornings
Starry lights
Pacing, pacing to a melody
Pacing, pacing to a rhythm that is free
Listening to every step
One step closer to the sound of my soul.
Much worry little sleep
Not enough silence to count sheep
Steps and steps and more steps again
Just to be at square one once again
Rhythms of cities, of busy streets
Only silence in musical sheets
Pacing once more
Steps on every kind of floor
Starry morning
In my sight
Starry morning
Wish it was night.
     First-Rose-of-Winter Gouveia
October 10th 2013


domingo, 29 de setembro de 2013


I've been thinking a lot. Remembering where I have come from. What I have done. Things that I have loved. I am feeling nostalgic. I can't help but think about Vancouver. About elementary school, highschool and my old house. Many nights are spent in those places. Inevitably I can't espace it. I can't totally let go of the past. 

It's been three years since I was back.

I suppose in some ways I have started to creat an idealized vision of what it is. Sometimes I feel there is something within me calling me back. I guess it may just be closure. I had a relationship with my country. It wasn't always good. I'm in a better relationship with my other country. Deep down I still wonder what if?
What if I had stayed? But I know I wouldn't be happier. I would have ended up sad and possibly married to the first fool to cross my path. Perhaps a kind fool but I can't imagine myself feeling fullfilled in such a small life in such a big country. I guess that is the thing with big countries: they make you feel smaller and alone.

You have to go towards your dreams and not give up without trying. When you do get your dream you have to start dreaming again.

I dream.
I can't say I dream big although it's big for me to dream of things I never really wanted.
In some part dreams can come and go. Some things are like the tide....
People change. I have since I came to live here and in the past year I have changed a lot. I'm not as scared as I once was.