Feverish and Fun! and crazy holidays

So it's the holidays and my for someone who starts celebrating on their birthday (dec 21) it is the beginging to a marathon of celebrating.

Today I'm running a fever...Now for some fever induced jokes...

Me: I'm so hot!
person: Ya Right!
Me: just touch my forehead...

Why am I running a fever?
the best gift dad gave me for Christmas was the flu.
 I'm not kidding.

The second best was an argument about a fruit cake I was given in October. Aparently he hadn't given it to me and so on christmas day he says oh we can eat it. and I say no I gave it to someone. and he's all well it was mine.
You can't give someone something and then want it back. A gift is a gift.
(I had lots of other fruit cakes and so I gave it to someone special)

the third best was an argument on racism, and discrimination on Christmas.
I'm feminist which means I believe men and women are equal and should be treated as equals.
It went south fast.
He says some people put themselves in a position to be harassed. Which then reminds people that if you are bullied. Is it your fault for being a target ? no.

and to top all this off on christmas at midnight after I had been telling everyone i forgot the presents at home. (We had a huge amount of bags all with food no one noticed and he didn't even try to help while two women laboured quickly to get food done. he lounged on the sofa infront of a heater.)

Everyone knew I told everyone. Everyone told me it was okay.
So after midnight he realizes this and he gets mad and says let's go I don't want to be here anymore...
I wanted to see the reactions on their faces.
well news flash! I have bbeen working on the gifts since november! I did most of them. The two or three necklaces he bought It was MY idea to wrap them up. I did it all!
and like some sad child he wanted to go home. Because he didn't get his way.

but the truth is that not all was lost because just one crazy family member in the midst of 15 kind family members won't ruin anyone's Christmas.

I am blessed with a mother that has the sanity for two people, the strenght and courage of two.
and a bunch of people whom I love to the core and support me in the ways they know how.


i'm feeverish....

Father Dear (excerpt from a comedy)

''Father dear

Next year on my birthday speak not of:

1. Cuban Prostitutes
2. Prostitution
3. Politics
4. Religion
5. Any nudity
6. Speak loudly without listening to anyone
7. Be sad that no one listens to you
8. Be sad that no one is speaking
9. Say the same things as other but with a more booming voice to prove that you are right.
10. Remember it is my birthday party
11. say no one cares about you. They do but only because of me.

now for christmas don't

1. stay in a corner listening to music on your pc not to bother anyone

just because you are not the center of attention does not mean no one cares or that you are not participating.

2. I love you dad so please don't embarasse me.
For all your faults and how much you make me go crazy I love you and that is not going to change.

For this year I have hope. Like all the years I can remember. Even if I come back again to the same conclusion next year. ''
 

a cry...at random

why do we lie to people about how we are? why do we lie to our friends, to our family?
Is the truth so horrible? and so what if it is?

How are you?
I'm not well. I miss my choir. I miss my university. I miss the music, but above all I miss my friends.
    I'm heading into my fifth year in this country and I am proud to say some of the friends I made then are still my friends now. i miss them
i miss these things

dark days
bright days
never two days the same
sometimes it's a shame
ups , downs
and loopdi lous


Published: Feb 2009

Taking It Day By Day

Each day I live, the pain consumes
What little sanity I have bloomed
Like walking in a cloud of fog
Falling down, sinking into smog

Life just seems grim
I think on a whim
Interest lost in everything I do
But what a life, who really knew?

Depressed to a fault, that all I see
Death just seems like the only way for me
A waste of time, I feel I am
But that's its nature, a full mind jam

I try and try to ease the pain
A fallen effort with no gain
Thoughts begin to eat away
Makes me want to end it today

Uncomfortable around others for the way I feel
I pray and wish this all wasn't real
Life just seems more like a prison
Caged, alone, an abomination risen

No one could ever understand
Why I would want my death sooner than planned
Its not something I want for me
But to end my suffering this is what has to be

So I write this all as I fall from grace
Down to this place, some barren waste
I know not how much longer I will last
But all I can do, is pray that this will just pass.