sexta-feira, 29 de junho de 2012

I am obsessing!!! over waiting. etccc..

''I am obsessive. If you didn't know that until now then consider yourself lucky. This is probably why I am prone to easily becoming addicted to things. Until now I have been obsessive about cookies, getting people's attention. Ya I'm a soul sucker in that respect. I am a good person this is just one of my random faults. I don't have a low self esteem I'm just brave enought to admit my faults.
I am obsessive. Today I am obsessing over waiting for a Princess to tell me at what time we meet to bid her adieu since she must go back to her kingdom beyond the rolling hills for Princess academie is over and she has not found a prince to staple her down.
So now I wait infront of my magic mirror (ya modern princess all have one now). And now while I await for the princess I am scanning a whole book for another because I am obsessive. And summer is the worst time to be obsessive for me because I need to be kept busy or suffer going crazy especially when I spent a year waiting so that I would have time to do things but then there is no one to do them with.
And then I ask myself why last summer I went on date with the first footman that dared to ask me out. Well there you have it : boredom. And no other male on this planet had ever asked me out. (Maybe with the exception of one, which left me unsure if I had even been asked and if I had agreed)
So why did I turn to cookie well this time I am praying about it because with the footman I had not and it went really badly. I am praying for answers but the answer I always seem to get is PACIENCE.''

King Harmonioso aka Luís if Choir were a kingdom

domingo, 24 de junho de 2012

More from the Drawing Challenge

Favorite Word

Last Batch of Cookies

If cookie did not quite the choir.
Then maybe I quite the cookie.

I know cookie is doing exams.

Cookies cookies.
Yesterday I stayed up till one am to make them since electricity is cheeper after 10 pm.

So here go cookie pictures.

quinta-feira, 21 de junho de 2012

Cookie Quite The Choir

I think cookie quite the choir. Or did the choir quite the cookie.
Regardless if cookie quite the choir I said I would tell him I had a crush on him.
Even thought there is a new man in my life. Well tecnically a boy. In fact a new born baby boy.
I'm kinda sad thinking cookie quite the choir but probably there is something bigger and better out there for him. I wish him the best, honestly.

I'm not shure if cookie quite the choir. But he hasn't shown up in a few weeks and as much as I hate to admit it I'm more forcused in choir although I feel like someone is missing.

I guess people get acustomed to their face.

sexta-feira, 15 de junho de 2012

I killed a cookie

I killed a cookie

I killed a cookie
I replaced my dreams
instead of cookie
I dream of Ice Creams
I killled a cookie
with a time I did not see
and that time I did not see
made me realize cookie
was not for me
Not that I am looking
for anything else
to fill my need for some sugar

No need to worry the story has ended
no pain no nothing
Indeed very simple

If you look at a cookie
you want a cookie
but if you do not go to the bakery
then you cannot want any baked goods.

Tiered of starting so many stories
when deep down
I know they won't get any endings
So I killed a cookie
and now I'm free
to be happy
and enjoy my own family.

p.s. I bet he's forgotten all about the cookies.
then that really means I'm free

quinta-feira, 14 de junho de 2012

Drawing Challenge

Day 2
Drawing 2: Draw your favorite Animal

Day 3
Drawing 3: Draw your favorite food

(Pasta with mushrooms)

Day 4
Drawing 4: Draw your favorite place
P.S. My favorite place is Portugal :P

Day 5
Drawing 5: Draw your best friend

Hugs Snow White :D

tweet me at danijode

terça-feira, 12 de junho de 2012

First picture of 30 day drawing challenge

To Snow White

Diga-lhe hortênsia que ela já sabe o que é.

It's a reference to one of my favorite pictures of cookie.

I have an addiction

''Since 2009 I have had an adiction to chat sites. I'm coming clean about it finally.
I've tried controlling it. It has been under control a few times but all I need is time to go back to the same things. At first it started with having penpals. The excstacy a person gets after receiving e-mails. Always checking my e-mail to see if I got a new one. Then one penpal suggested we chat. For a while I didn't dare. All I wanted was a penpal. From there it stemed to me going on chat sites because my penpals weren't replying. Then mostly guys private messaged me. It became invigorating how a bunch of people wanted to talk to me. Guys never talked to me in real life. I guess maybe I made them scared or I just wasn't outside of my shell enough for them. I don't like taking risks.
It was nice feeling like guys could like me. I knew there were freaks out there but feeling wanted is a nice feeling. Soon I was going on so many chat sites mainly teen chats and guys only wanted one of few things : show their private parts, have me show mine, sex chat or cam sex. I hated it but slowly I got pulled in. The only thing I did was never cam with them. I can't say I'm free from all that. I wish I was.

I hopped reality would somehow save me. I started seeing it as a world of fiction if they were lying why shouldn't I.

One thing about adicts we always try to find excuses for our behaviour. We try to believe our excuses. Sometimes we do but only long enough to do it again. But then we are back to the same empty or numb feeling. The more you do it the less you feel the more you need to feel anything but you are convince you will feel that high. You come close but never close enough.

I still chat. I try restrict my chatting to topics I am okay with and no sex!(I deserve more and I'm ore marture) Not as many people chat with me. I think about my future husband. I want to be purified for him. If I don't deserve it then why not him. Plus he'll be pure.

I also chat on religion chat sites people keep their topics more clean. I'm working on it but I am still tempted to talk to the immature idiots that come private messaging me. But I know it's just that I have to invest more time with people on the outside.
Maybe I'm missing out.
I also chat when I feel frustrated with guys but now I think about my future husband.

What would he think of me.

 What will I think of myself.

 I deserve more.''

(Excerpt from A day in the life of Jane Janette)

p.s. for a little fun

Once a upon a cookie

'Once upon a time their was a cookie princess who was looking for her cookie prince. She though she had found him but he was nothing but a mirage. At least after not seeing him for two weeks. She realized she didn't need a cookie prince to eat her cookies. She never needed a prince at all. So she went back to baking just for the heck of it and found a bunch of flowers in her garden of friends.

But she couldn't help hope that there was indeed a cookie prince out there for her. She just hopped he would find her.'

p.s. cookie no show

sexta-feira, 8 de junho de 2012

Being a cookie princess

'Oh cookie prince you said until the morrow yet at the morrow I did not see you. You did not come. Cookie Prince I go to know if you came. Why did you not come. I wonder yet it is not my right to know. Now I spend my time wondering if you do have a bethrode.
Why did I not say ' you can practice your french with me if your bethrode does not mind' then I would have an answer to a question that perhaps you lie about on you MagicMirror Account. Oh cookie prince though I wish to know you better you remain a stranger to me. Perhaps you do not wish to know me. Sadly I have already given you my cookie recipie. How stupid can I be.'

quarta-feira, 6 de junho de 2012

'Cause you make me smile.

To get things off my mind.

'Since Monday night , I Princess VonCookies daughter of the Crazy Duke of blue and niece to the Condesa DeSopa, have found a slight joy and laughter and calmness at the thought of the Cookie Prince. Like perhaps before. I find myself imagining the prince's face in order to meditate. I have once again felt the rush of feelings within me. Yet his face now calms me.
I am no longer scared of looking at his face, though I am still hesitante. He does not see my feelings I think, and his face does not kill me as I almost felt it might. The thing that I have surpassed is looking into his eyes though only for short instances. But do not ask me their colour for still am I unsure. I think they are brown.
There is also something that I have done that perhaps has turned the cookie prince away.
I asked him ' well hi what are you doing in the metro you now take the bus.' He replied after nearly looking as if  thinking 'what the hell is this girl going to say, she's freaking me out'. But then was kind enough to reply that it was that he takes the bus when he has to go shopping and then named the store. I attempted to mend the situation by saying ' Please don't think I'm budding in.' (clearly I was I have a CRUSH on him) . And so we talked as we waited and then in the metro. and then he bade me good morrow and left to opposite direction (cause he was afraid I might follow him?). And so I went home light of heart with a smile on my face. And put on my magic mirror account 'cause you make me smile'. And even thought once i reached the royal train station of 'in the fields' they had scrapped my train. I upon consulting with the countess vonCakes went to the orient in order to make my magical way home. because I still figured it was worth talking to him. And thanks praise God there was a train for me in the orient. Now the in between the lines remaines secret for this passage of the fairyly story is not over yet we hope.'

Pat's version of the Cookie Princess just for me

What equals love :D

sábado, 2 de junho de 2012

Being Cinder-in-Hella

My mother just downgraded my crush in my eyes .

'Once upon a time my mother (let's call her the countess VonCakes) happened to look at the picture of a perticular guy(let's call him the cookie Prince) while we checked out pictures on my MagicMirror Account (sorry Snow White. I know it's traumatic for you.) also known as Facebook. Well I tried to downplay it all. and the countess was all like 'what that is the guy who said you looked older, well he looks older' (Thanks for defending me mother, but he does not look old.) But the worst part was when the countess said he looked like my father. (I love my father but I sure as hell don't want to crush on someone that 'looks like him'). So according to my mother the Cookie Prince looks like my father when he was younger only the prince is the dark version (he has dark hair, my father has blond hair). Oh and my father( let's call him Crazy Duke of Blue) looked better then the Cookie Prince. I (let's call me Cinderhella for the purpose of this post) have decided never to reveal my crush to my mother. I downplayed it by saying who him? he's just a dude from choir. I barelly even talk to him. (TRUE! AS HELL) I just added him 'cause we are in the same choir. and then later. Oh p.s. I just remembered at the Lagoa do Fogo the Cookie Prince is behind you in a picture. (one of my most cherished and awkard photos). Ah is he replied the countess. Did he speak to me? No replied Cinderhella. I didn't even speak to him in the Azores, so why would he speak to you.
Now I am wondering If the cookie Prince is a Prince or just another 'worse looking' dark haired version of Crazy Duke of Blue. It is so like Oedipus.(Guy from Greek tragedy who unknowingly marries his biological mother and has kids).
If the cookie Prince is a crazy cookie Prince then what am I gonna do?
If he isn't then will I notice it before it's too late.
Is my taste in guys only annoying ones or is this one not annoying and I'm just nervous.
Either way I'm gonna find a picture of my dad, Crazy duke of blue , and put it beside one of The Cookie Prince. Maybe my father is the better looking one but that shouldn't chance anything cause that means my good looks come from a crazy Duke of Blue but my calmness comes from the Countess VonCakes.
p.s. the countess and duke are divorced. The countess tolerates the duke but she doesn't really like him. She feels sorry for him.