sábado, 27 de dezembro de 2014

Feverish and Fun! and crazy holidays

So it's the holidays and my for someone who starts celebrating on their birthday (dec 21) it is the beginging to a marathon of celebrating.

Today I'm running a fever...Now for some fever induced jokes...

Me: I'm so hot!
person: Ya Right!
Me: just touch my forehead...

Why am I running a fever?
the best gift dad gave me for Christmas was the flu.
 I'm not kidding.

The second best was an argument about a fruit cake I was given in October. Aparently he hadn't given it to me and so on christmas day he says oh we can eat it. and I say no I gave it to someone. and he's all well it was mine.
You can't give someone something and then want it back. A gift is a gift.
(I had lots of other fruit cakes and so I gave it to someone special)

the third best was an argument on racism, and discrimination on Christmas.
I'm feminist which means I believe men and women are equal and should be treated as equals.
It went south fast.
He says some people put themselves in a position to be harassed. Which then reminds people that if you are bullied. Is it your fault for being a target ? no.

and to top all this off on christmas at midnight after I had been telling everyone i forgot the presents at home. (We had a huge amount of bags all with food no one noticed and he didn't even try to help while two women laboured quickly to get food done. he lounged on the sofa infront of a heater.)

Everyone knew I told everyone. Everyone told me it was okay.
So after midnight he realizes this and he gets mad and says let's go I don't want to be here anymore...
I wanted to see the reactions on their faces.
well news flash! I have bbeen working on the gifts since november! I did most of them. The two or three necklaces he bought It was MY idea to wrap them up. I did it all!
and like some sad child he wanted to go home. Because he didn't get his way.

but the truth is that not all was lost because just one crazy family member in the midst of 15 kind family members won't ruin anyone's Christmas.

I am blessed with a mother that has the sanity for two people, the strenght and courage of two.
and a bunch of people whom I love to the core and support me in the ways they know how.

i'm feeverish....

quarta-feira, 24 de dezembro de 2014

Father Dear (excerpt from a comedy)

''Father dear

Next year on my birthday speak not of:

1. Cuban Prostitutes
2. Prostitution
3. Politics
4. Religion
5. Any nudity
6. Speak loudly without listening to anyone
7. Be sad that no one listens to you
8. Be sad that no one is speaking
9. Say the same things as other but with a more booming voice to prove that you are right.
10. Remember it is my birthday party
11. say no one cares about you. They do but only because of me.

now for christmas don't

1. stay in a corner listening to music on your pc not to bother anyone

just because you are not the center of attention does not mean no one cares or that you are not participating.

2. I love you dad so please don't embarasse me.
For all your faults and how much you make me go crazy I love you and that is not going to change.

For this year I have hope. Like all the years I can remember. Even if I come back again to the same conclusion next year. ''

domingo, 7 de dezembro de 2014

a cry...at random

why do we lie to people about how we are? why do we lie to our friends, to our family?
Is the truth so horrible? and so what if it is?

How are you?
I'm not well. I miss my choir. I miss my university. I miss the music, but above all I miss my friends.
    I'm heading into my fifth year in this country and I am proud to say some of the friends I made then are still my friends now. i miss them
i miss these things

dark days
bright days
never two days the same
sometimes it's a shame
ups , downs
and loopdi lous

Published: Feb 2009

Taking It Day By Day

Each day I live, the pain consumes
What little sanity I have bloomed
Like walking in a cloud of fog
Falling down, sinking into smog

Life just seems grim
I think on a whim
Interest lost in everything I do
But what a life, who really knew?

Depressed to a fault, that all I see
Death just seems like the only way for me
A waste of time, I feel I am
But that's its nature, a full mind jam

I try and try to ease the pain
A fallen effort with no gain
Thoughts begin to eat away
Makes me want to end it today

Uncomfortable around others for the way I feel
I pray and wish this all wasn't real
Life just seems more like a prison
Caged, alone, an abomination risen

No one could ever understand
Why I would want my death sooner than planned
Its not something I want for me
But to end my suffering this is what has to be

So I write this all as I fall from grace
Down to this place, some barren waste
I know not how much longer I will last
But all I can do, is pray that this will just pass.

quarta-feira, 19 de novembro de 2014

Aluna Notas de uma

Aula 1
Objectivos da sessao
~Conhecer a professora e os alunos
   -> para conhecermo-nos
   -> ligar nomes as caras
   -> criar grupo -->  criar o espirito de grupo
~criar espirito de grupo
*usar uma letra legivel
*criar um espaco para criar coisas que devem ficar no quadro ate ao fim da aula -> espaco restrito
*primeiro ligar o datashow e depois o computador
-direcao de turma --> director de turma
                 -> responsavel pela gestao dos professores nessa turma
> enquanto alunos reagimos como os nossos alunos
    --> alunizacao do aluno
> sala de aula e um local extremamente complexo
Posissionamento dos alunos em relacao ao professor
> aproximar ou afastar (pode)= provocacao
>distancia=um sentido de proteccao
>estar muito perto= muita confianca ou falta
O olhar-> raio de visao
     ---> treino do raio de visao
>prof tem muito necessidade de ser reforcado
>prof esta em situacao de inferioridade
> prof esta sempre a ser avaliado
>cabe ao prof construir o grupo
> tudo dentro da classe e da responsabilidade do prof
> e um trabalho desgastante
*enquanto prof estar sempre conhecedores da realidade e transmitir aos alunos
>o espaco onde se desenrolam as aulas influencia
>mudar de metedologia
    --> levantar, aproximar, falar alto (indica boa desposicao)
  >>o barulho nao quer dizer indisciplina
   -> intensidade de voz
>evitar leccionar de costas
>diccao e importante --> importancia de projectar a voz
>competencia=capacidades, conhecimentos
>curriculo engloba a sociedade, os alunos e o saber
" o barco de cada um esta em seu peito"
Aula 3*
Objectivos da sessão                                                                                                                             1. Esclarecer dúvidas                                            * sempre definindo com um verbo ao infinitivo                                                                                      2. Definir conceito de Educação                       *cuidado com os assentos e colocar no lugar certo                                                                                              3. Consultar o portal do Ministério da Educação
>a partir de'75 nao se promove a memorizacao mas sim o desenvolvimento de capacidades da criança                                                                                                                         *a educação funciona muito por modas
>não é vergonha usar o dicionário, é vergonha escrever com erros--» cuidem do portugues
Um professor deve sempre:
                                               Consolidar          Conteúdos
                                                Articular                        *os ciclos de vida dos professores

Ø  O trabalho que o aluno fez deve se ter em conta
Ø  Mesmo que o TPC não tenha sido feito é necessário reforço positivo para que ele o faça
Ø  Desconstruir (não faz mal hoje)                                                                                                 -» não fez o TPC                                                                                                                         -» fez mas copiou                                              * o professor é professor
Ø  Responsabilisar o aluno para ele não se tornar antagonista ao professor                                       --» profissionalidade que cada um tem de construir
Ø  O que interessa é a construção feita com as aulas
Ø  Boa actividade -» dar para TPC aos alunos fazerem o sumário porque desenvolve a capacidade  de sintese dos alunos
Ø  Empriendedorismo e cooperativismo                                                                                               --» podemos ler o mesmo texto de várias formas                                                                  --» temos de saber trabalhar em grupo para poder ensinar aos alunos a trabalhar em grupo
Ø  Agaramos as coisas que gostamos
Ø  As aprendizagens são importantes para saber quais são as dificuldades do aluno
Ø  Quando um aluno apresenta algo o prof deve se posiçionar na posição oposta (na sala de aula)
Ø  Escrever de esquerda para direita
Ø  O professor tem necessidade de reforço sobretudo com uma turma difícil
Conceito de Educação
--» Latim       

aula 3 continuada

> processo de socializacao
--> saber estar em sociedade, habitos de sociedade, o mundo laboral, valores, normas
                                                                --> Sociologia (E.Durkheim)
Competencia -> transmite atitudes, da conhecimentos e estimula capacidades

>a educacao priviligia o que a sociedade privilegia (ex. tecnologia)
   --> tecnologia -- mais novos a ensinar mais velhos-- mais velhos a ensinar os mais novos (antigamente)

*O mundo nao e o meu mundo, ha mais mundos para alem do meu

> a educacao nao chega a todos > "O Emilio" Rousseau (Sec. 17)
   -alfabetizacao Criança como planta e o professor como jardineiro
   -abandono escolar
   -insucesso escolar
>nao ha uma sò disciplina para educacao mas um conjunto de disciplinas
     -demografia da educacao *a educaçao e um espaço enorme de justificaçao
     -economia da educaçao                              

(- um dos primeiros defensores da universalização da educação
  -considerado como o pai da educação moderna)
    1828 -> School of infancy
-Rousseau e Comenius foram de novidade extrema, Pestalo

> Hà vàrios conceitos de educação em função da sociedade
---> Sociedade é determinante para as políticas educativas e para a educação
---> Tem de ser capaz de desenvolver as capacidades dos alunos
  * ciclos de formação dos professores

-> com uma turma pequena o professor comeca a acomodar-se
>numa escola privada tem de se submeter aos princípios da escola, na escola pública há mais liberdade
    ---> não obrigatoriedade, não aderência dos próprios professores às normas que se refelt nos próprios alunos

>o conhecimento pedagógico vai vindo com o tempo
>profissão de professor não tem feedback imediato
> a sala de aula é um lugar muito imprevisivel

-Docs da OCDE

->interiorização da aula (planificação da aula)
-> rentabilizar os comentários do aluno, enquadrar o contributo, quando é asneira forte ele que fique a perceber que foi uma asneira-> evitar que o aluno seja provocado
> curriculo como sinónimo de competências a adquirir
>há falta de pedagogia

"Mais vale ser ave livre, que rei cativo." -Provérbio Escandinavo

segunda-feira, 25 de agosto de 2014

Primeira Vez

A primeira vez... Esquecemos mas cada dia pode haver uma primeira vez. A primeira vez que fui à praia. Sabem quando foi? Sabem onde foi? A primeira vez. Esquecemos que estamos constantemente a ter a nossa primeira vez e talvez a nossa ultima.
   Ontem foi a minha primeira vez no palácio da pena e no castelo dos mouros. Não posso esquecer de dizer que tive os melhores guias. Sim porque os amigos são os melhores guias turísticos. Foi a primeira vez e foi inesquecível. A alegria da partilha e das novas paisagens. O riso, o ar da serra, a frescura, o calor humano e do sol ( e o chá).
  Estou sempre a encontrar uma alegria enorme nos momentos que desejei e que pelo passar do tempo ficaram um pouco esquecidos. O desejo dos ter continuou sempre mas a preocupação ficou para traz e de repente quando surgiu aquilo que queríamos pareceu um milagre. Sim eu acredito em milagres, momentos pequenos que por vezes nos safaram de coisas piores e outros que eram sonhos distantes fora do nosso controlo e que se tornaram em realidade.
   A primeira vez das coisas boas, como comer um travesseiro de Sintra, é como um milagre. A primeira vez que olhámos para a nossa mãe não foi um milagre? Como ela nos olhou de volta? A primeira vez que vi cada um dos meus primos. Quando finalmente conheci uma prima que nem sabia que eu existia e como apesar de não nos conhecermos foi só preciso o primeiro abraço para não nos podermos largar.
  Acho que a primeira vez é um milagre.

E obrigada aos meus amigos pelo meu milagre de  Sintra.

terça-feira, 24 de junho de 2014

fusion or fision (choir)

For months now two choirs have been put to the test. Fuse fiz or finish.

Meetings on end and the truth is I feel like it has separated us. All because of ideology and politics. It's  all a question of politics and meanwhile what really unites us has been put aside. We just want to sing.

I want to sing but after  putting in so much work into this I am not ready to sing at any cost.

Now is the time to make an important decision. Stay : fuse or fiz and  leave.

The attempt to fuse two choirs is in fact fision and not fusion. Because stuff is lost along the way and it is polluted. Pollution which divided us, united us, turned us against each other....

For months I silently listened knowing that what we needed was a solution. It seemed like we started from the end only to come back to the beginning. Initially I accepted the idea that the people from the other choir would become choir 'mates' ...

Now I am happy that there is a solution (if it can really be considered a solution, it is more of a conclusion to his lengthy business) .

 On one hand I know that every year  new members come in and we change . inevitably we change and I have accepted it because I also had to be accepted into this dinamic (the choir) .
Now I am one of the sopranos with more years under my belt.

On the other hand I have been singing in choirs for  almost 9 years and  want to grow musically. I don't want to go back to singing repertoire that I could have sung in highschool, I don't  want to be in an environments  that is divided and unaccepting or rigid. Because after all this , choir is an extra activity. It does not contribute to my academic life, in fact it has taken away from it but because of the community, the friendship and the support it has  Been invaluable to my academic life, giving me  confidence or a place to forget my worries for two hours.
This semester it has not but since I have now finished my BA perhaps I will let life decide.

If  it fits into my new schedule I should continue if not I leave  with my memories....

quarta-feira, 18 de junho de 2014

Apesar das entradas e saidas da cena

Apesar das entradas e saidas da cena gosto do espectáculo. Há momentos maus, e sim momentos bons.

Desde que haja mais um dia para cantar, mais um dia para viver.  Não é facil, nunca foi mas sim vale a pena viver. Nem sempre o achamos mas tenho achado isso durante mais tempo seguido desde que entrei em cena em Portugal.

Acho que para mim é mais fácil quando saiem de cena permanentemente porque acredito que essas pessoas continuam mas noutro estado, noutro patamar de existência para alem da nossa comprienção.


Não gosto de mudança, do desconhecido mas se formos a ver temos todos medo do desconhecido. É normal a aprienção...

Por vezes o desonhecido é uma coisa bela mas temos de ir com cuidado.

A vida conta se em momentos de alergria e sorrisos.
E não faz mal ter medo, ter medo das entradas e saidas da cena.


CBC radio 2 for me

Since I was a little girl I have always loved to turn the radio dial searching for classical music. I love the sound of the violins the voices of the radio hosts...

It is quite unlike anything the voice of a good radio host. The smoothness of the voice. It can't be someone who's voice comes in sharp contrast with the music being played, but plays on the pauses of the music like whispers.

And so one day I found CBC radio 2. I mean really found it. I had listened many times before but then I was unaware of what it was.

From that day on my radio was always on radio 2. When studying I would turn it on... When reading or embroidering...
It helped shape the music that I listen to, that I already loved.

It brought me closer to the music I love.

Many things have shaped me musically but listening to classical music on the radio, I believe, was one of the building blocks, that along with destiny and a bit of luck, led me to coral music.

Since the beginning of this love for classical music I have developed ambitions or dreams that have come true in the realm of classical music.
 I have sung Beethoven's 9th symphony, twice, once having been in a cathedral.
 I have sung songs from various opera's , last year the repertoire was all Verdi.

Sometimes the building blocks, our dreams will in fact bring us somewhere... The trick to this is that we don't know what will happen to us. Or when fate, or destiny will come into play.

Perhaps it is a question of love.

If we love something without seeking anything in return, maybe, just maybe it will look at us favorably and allow us to bask in its glow instead of letting us look upon it from a far...

terça-feira, 17 de junho de 2014

entradas e saidas de cena

Afinal a malta não escreve, afinal há gente que sai do coro,... Tantas entradas em cena so para voltarem a sair...

Não gosto quando as pessoas saiem de cena... Nunca sabeos se os voltamos a ver.
Tenho medo da saída de cena.

As coisas estão sempre a mudar...
Não gosto.

Mas será que eu sai de cena a dada altura?
Será que isso me fez perder amigos, desperdiçar momentos?

Apesar destas entradas e saidas em cena não posso esquecer as personagens que povoaram o palco da minha vida...
     Mas nunca...

Tenho vivido em dois países... Tenho estado entre pessoas e caras diferentes... Tenho 21anos de respiracoes ... Vários kilometros percorridos...
              E sei que resume se às entradas e saidas em cena.

sexta-feira, 11 de abril de 2014


I don't drink. I might sip a bit of champaign or sangria but I don't drink. I hate how it alters people. I don't need alcohol to be altered. I just needed an excuse like lack of sleep. People use alcohol as an excuse to be themselves. Or someone they are not. People don't  get it. I don't trust people while they drink. I am not against drinking just over drinking.

Drinking breakes promises, it breaks families....

 And I have the right to be afraid. To feel hurt.

I love you when you aren't drinking.

terça-feira, 11 de março de 2014

snot filled and under a dark cloud

I feel sad. Doesn't seem like anyone cares I know I am with my  boyfriend but it's not the.end all. Plus he follows me because I bring  food.
 And what else is new? Well my dad has come and isn't the best house guest.     I am under a dark cloud.  I don't know if I still have friends. Friends are hard to  make try starting over in a new country just shy of 18. I had friends I tried showing them I care. Now I am just tiered lost in space.
Oh and I know for a fact that my flu is Canadian. Along with the maple syrup he brought me from Toronto he also transported this flu with him last Sunday.
 Just off the plane and what are the first two things he said to me after not seeing his only daughter for a year?
Hi and after I tried to give him a kiss no no you know I don't like lipstick yuck vampire.
   For while now I have been under a dark cloud. Not one choir rehearsal goes by where I don't think about quitting and yet I still try to give my best though disheartened.  Friends I had now have other friends. I know so little about their lives. I am the last one to know anything even fro, my prince -in-socks .
Feeling disheartened with school . What's the point  I already have my ba. Still some days I try to understand and try to make sense of it.
One safe person now blabbed to his parents.
I envy those who have birthday s mine is considered to be a part of Christmas...
My stuff isn't selling... my site is at a stand still... and now with the buying of Lord lapis lazuli's manor my foreign affairs minister sais I must be present as I am heir to lapis lazuli in all things good but mainly bad....
Perhaps I have turned into the snot caught bubble of a cloud....

 Sometimes silence is but the loudest of all screams

domingo, 23 de fevereiro de 2014

Aquela que está por baixo da Rosa

Sim minha querida. Mais um sonho contigo...

Desta vez ias casar.

Sim quem diria que agora sonho com duas personagens amigas/ ou amigáveis que se tornaram em presenças protectoras nos meus sonhos...


PS How do I get my Sista' Bá-Back?


sábado, 4 de janeiro de 2014

A writer, a poet

I read the poems from this site before I met my teacher  http://poemsfromtheportuguese.org/Margarida__Vale_de_Gato
I didn't know if I would like her or not but I was decided not to go to class without at least having googled her. So that is what I did and I found her poetry. I spoke to me on a personal and perhaps on an activist level. No I didn't like all the poems. I didn't have to. I like these ones in particular because she translates them herself. Anyone who has translated anything that is literary knows how hard it is to do but when you translate your own literary work you come as close as you can to having the same voice in the original as in the translation. It's a different voice but it is always yours.

So I liked a poem or two.

Then I had a semester of classes. I got to know the teacher behind the poetry, the spirit. It was fascinating.
Somedays were tough, others were better. Somedays it was best to keep quiet. All in a very interesting semester.

I'm writing again!!!

Yes. I am back to writing and it feel wonderful to just sit infront of the computer and write things that come from my imagination. This time I am trying to be a little literary since I did have one literature class. Plus it did get me thinking.

I am on Wattpad!!! yes i am.

And here is the link to my new story. Feel free to leave comments here or on there.


My story is called My Name is Mafalda.
Right now the idea is to write a diasporic text about a young woman accepting her identity and blossoming into a person who falls in love.
The idea is still very basic but I am working on it.