I have missed writing. These last few weeks I have attempted to get back to the pen and paper. I still feel as if I have nothing to write about but not everything that we write about has to come from outside ourselves. The most honest things we write come from within. Honesty with myself. If you are honest with no one else be honest with yourself. It won't clean the mind but at least the burden will feel smaller.
I am not always honest with myself I don't think anyone is. People too easily start believing their lies, the ones they made up. Like the mask we make up to wear. We took so much time making it and perfecting it that somehow in the midst of this creation we became the mask. In a way a bit like The Movie The Mask where Jim Carrey plays the protagonist. We become controlled by the mask we wear and when we finally take it off we don't remember who we are. Almost as if we are left with a partial amnesia. But then we have to build something, make something. We perhaps fall into creating another mask. Maybe it's a cycle of making and throwing away masks. The question we have to ask is who are we? Who am I? Does my profession define me? Does my name? Who am I and do I know myself? We discover ourselves throught our interactions with other, how we behave. We don't always know what our reaction will be. We learn about ourselves along side others not apart. It would be like the teacher who only teaches and does not learn from their students. Others don't know us but neither do we.
I spent a good chunk of my teenage life wondering who I was. Was I this or was I that? I descovered that I was neither this nor that. That I was both at the same time in my own way. I did not have to choose between being Canadian or Portuguese , or accept when I was forced fed that I was Italian. I am Canadian, I am Portuguese, and I am of Italian decent. I am no more of one of them then of the other. No part is more important. They all matter. Depending on the situation or time determines their importance otherwise they are equal. None of these parts of me goes against the fact that I like music or that I really like french, or that I love Quebec history.
It is based on the things that we know about ourselves that we must assume our identity and not create it. Communities create identies, individuals assume them. They recognize what is in them or don't but not recognizing or refusing to recognize is part of identity.
'Because I am me
or nobody will see'