fusion or fision (choir)

For months now two choirs have been put to the test. Fuse fiz or finish.

Meetings on end and the truth is I feel like it has separated us. All because of ideology and politics. It's  all a question of politics and meanwhile what really unites us has been put aside. We just want to sing.

I want to sing but after  putting in so much work into this I am not ready to sing at any cost.

Now is the time to make an important decision. Stay : fuse or fiz and  leave.

The attempt to fuse two choirs is in fact fision and not fusion. Because stuff is lost along the way and it is polluted. Pollution which divided us, united us, turned us against each other....

For months I silently listened knowing that what we needed was a solution. It seemed like we started from the end only to come back to the beginning. Initially I accepted the idea that the people from the other choir would become choir 'mates' ...

Now I am happy that there is a solution (if it can really be considered a solution, it is more of a conclusion to his lengthy business) .

 On one hand I know that every year  new members come in and we change . inevitably we change and I have accepted it because I also had to be accepted into this dinamic (the choir) .
Now I am one of the sopranos with more years under my belt.


On the other hand I have been singing in choirs for  almost 9 years and  want to grow musically. I don't want to go back to singing repertoire that I could have sung in highschool, I don't  want to be in an environments  that is divided and unaccepting or rigid. Because after all this , choir is an extra activity. It does not contribute to my academic life, in fact it has taken away from it but because of the community, the friendship and the support it has  Been invaluable to my academic life, giving me  confidence or a place to forget my worries for two hours.
This semester it has not but since I have now finished my BA perhaps I will let life decide.

If  it fits into my new schedule I should continue if not I leave  with my memories....

Apesar das entradas e saidas da cena

Apesar das entradas e saidas da cena gosto do espectáculo. Há momentos maus, e sim momentos bons.

Desde que haja mais um dia para cantar, mais um dia para viver.  Não é facil, nunca foi mas sim vale a pena viver. Nem sempre o achamos mas tenho achado isso durante mais tempo seguido desde que entrei em cena em Portugal.

Acho que para mim é mais fácil quando saiem de cena permanentemente porque acredito que essas pessoas continuam mas noutro estado, noutro patamar de existência para alem da nossa comprienção.

....

Não gosto de mudança, do desconhecido mas se formos a ver temos todos medo do desconhecido. É normal a aprienção...

Por vezes o desonhecido é uma coisa bela mas temos de ir com cuidado.

A vida conta se em momentos de alergria e sorrisos.
E não faz mal ter medo, ter medo das entradas e saidas da cena.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvyHuse6buY

CBC radio 2 for me

Since I was a little girl I have always loved to turn the radio dial searching for classical music. I love the sound of the violins the voices of the radio hosts...

It is quite unlike anything the voice of a good radio host. The smoothness of the voice. It can't be someone who's voice comes in sharp contrast with the music being played, but plays on the pauses of the music like whispers.

And so one day I found CBC radio 2. I mean really found it. I had listened many times before but then I was unaware of what it was.

From that day on my radio was always on radio 2. When studying I would turn it on... When reading or embroidering...
It helped shape the music that I listen to, that I already loved.

It brought me closer to the music I love.

Many things have shaped me musically but listening to classical music on the radio, I believe, was one of the building blocks, that along with destiny and a bit of luck, led me to coral music.

Since the beginning of this love for classical music I have developed ambitions or dreams that have come true in the realm of classical music.
 I have sung Beethoven's 9th symphony, twice, once having been in a cathedral.
 I have sung songs from various opera's , last year the repertoire was all Verdi.

Sometimes the building blocks, our dreams will in fact bring us somewhere... The trick to this is that we don't know what will happen to us. Or when fate, or destiny will come into play.

Perhaps it is a question of love.

If we love something without seeking anything in return, maybe, just maybe it will look at us favorably and allow us to bask in its glow instead of letting us look upon it from a far...

entradas e saidas de cena

Afinal a malta não escreve, afinal há gente que sai do coro,... Tantas entradas em cena so para voltarem a sair...

Não gosto quando as pessoas saiem de cena... Nunca sabeos se os voltamos a ver.
Tenho medo da saída de cena.

As coisas estão sempre a mudar...
Não gosto.

Mas será que eu sai de cena a dada altura?
Será que isso me fez perder amigos, desperdiçar momentos?

Apesar destas entradas e saidas em cena não posso esquecer as personagens que povoaram o palco da minha vida...
     Mas nunca...

Tenho vivido em dois países... Tenho estado entre pessoas e caras diferentes... Tenho 21anos de respiracoes ... Vários kilometros percorridos...
              E sei que resume se às entradas e saidas em cena.

drink

I don't drink. I might sip a bit of champaign or sangria but I don't drink. I hate how it alters people. I don't need alcohol to be altered. I just needed an excuse like lack of sleep. People use alcohol as an excuse to be themselves. Or someone they are not. People don't  get it. I don't trust people while they drink. I am not against drinking just over drinking.

Drinking breakes promises, it breaks families....

 And I have the right to be afraid. To feel hurt.

I love you when you aren't drinking.

snot filled and under a dark cloud

I feel sad. Doesn't seem like anyone cares I know I am with my  boyfriend but it's not the.end all. Plus he follows me because I bring  food.
 And what else is new? Well my dad has come and isn't the best house guest.     I am under a dark cloud.  I don't know if I still have friends. Friends are hard to  make try starting over in a new country just shy of 18. I had friends I tried showing them I care. Now I am just tiered lost in space.
Oh and I know for a fact that my flu is Canadian. Along with the maple syrup he brought me from Toronto he also transported this flu with him last Sunday.
 Just off the plane and what are the first two things he said to me after not seeing his only daughter for a year?
Hi and after I tried to give him a kiss no no you know I don't like lipstick yuck vampire.
   For while now I have been under a dark cloud. Not one choir rehearsal goes by where I don't think about quitting and yet I still try to give my best though disheartened.  Friends I had now have other friends. I know so little about their lives. I am the last one to know anything even fro, my prince -in-socks .
Feeling disheartened with school . What's the point  I already have my ba. Still some days I try to understand and try to make sense of it.
One safe person now blabbed to his parents.
I envy those who have birthday s mine is considered to be a part of Christmas...
My stuff isn't selling... my site is at a stand still... and now with the buying of Lord lapis lazuli's manor my foreign affairs minister sais I must be present as I am heir to lapis lazuli in all things good but mainly bad....
Perhaps I have turned into the snot caught bubble of a cloud....

 Sometimes silence is but the loudest of all screams

Aquela que está por baixo da Rosa

Sim minha querida. Mais um sonho contigo...

Desta vez ias casar.

Sim quem diria que agora sonho com duas personagens amigas/ ou amigáveis que se tornaram em presenças protectoras nos meus sonhos...

Enfim...

PS How do I get my Sista' Bá-Back?

:'(