a cry...at random

why do we lie to people about how we are? why do we lie to our friends, to our family?
Is the truth so horrible? and so what if it is?

How are you?
I'm not well. I miss my choir. I miss my university. I miss the music, but above all I miss my friends.
    I'm heading into my fifth year in this country and I am proud to say some of the friends I made then are still my friends now. i miss them
i miss these things

dark days
bright days
never two days the same
sometimes it's a shame
ups , downs
and loopdi lous


Published: Feb 2009

Taking It Day By Day

Each day I live, the pain consumes
What little sanity I have bloomed
Like walking in a cloud of fog
Falling down, sinking into smog

Life just seems grim
I think on a whim
Interest lost in everything I do
But what a life, who really knew?

Depressed to a fault, that all I see
Death just seems like the only way for me
A waste of time, I feel I am
But that's its nature, a full mind jam

I try and try to ease the pain
A fallen effort with no gain
Thoughts begin to eat away
Makes me want to end it today

Uncomfortable around others for the way I feel
I pray and wish this all wasn't real
Life just seems more like a prison
Caged, alone, an abomination risen

No one could ever understand
Why I would want my death sooner than planned
Its not something I want for me
But to end my suffering this is what has to be

So I write this all as I fall from grace
Down to this place, some barren waste
I know not how much longer I will last
But all I can do, is pray that this will just pass.